2nd best

#2! Lexiehowler is only at #1 because of his festive getup.
Need to smash that pumpkin out of #1!
Top 10 Rankings

honourary human joke

The truth about Italians
Italians have a $40,000 kitchen, but use the $259 stove from Sears that's 20 years old in the basement to cook.

There is some sort of religious statue in the bedroom, hallway,living room, front porch or backyard.

The living room is filled with old Bombonieri.
They are too pretty to open, with poofy fancy bows and stale Almonds.

A portrait of the Pope, La Madonna or Padre Pio in the dining room.

God forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Ragu, Prego, Kraft Dinner or anything else that's "PORCHERIA di Mangiacake" in a jar box or can.
UNICO & LANCIA Tomato paste are the ONLY exceptions.

Complaints our parents had about takeout Foods:
Mikkadonalds - too mucha grease "Porcheria"
Chinese Food - they eata the snakes and cats - Schifo"
Pizza Pizza - I can make da same pizza for $2.00 - you pay $20.00!
Greek Food - Too much da salt...makes you drink more vino

The following are Italian Holidays:
March or October weekends are for sausage making
1st weekend in October Grapes for the Wine
July and August - Freeza da fagiolini and piselli
3rd weekend in August - Tomatoes for the sauce.
"EH...no maka no plans we worka in da garage/bassament"

Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef.
Italians don't care about cholesterol.

Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the antipasto, manicotti,gnocchi and lasagna.
Later on we have da Barbaque with da Spiducci and Bistecca.

Sunday dinner was at 1:00 - After da Church (and you better go...God watcha you!)

The meal went like this...
Table is set with everyday dishes
(UNLESS, Zio Luigi is visiting from Italy... then we take out the dishes in the velvet suitcase). Doesn't matter if they don't match...they're clean. What more do you want.

All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes on the left.(Nonno's Fork has been widened to spear more pasta).

Put a clean kitchen towel at Nonno & Papa's plate because they won't use paper napkins. Or they will use the corner of the hanging tablecloth.

Home-made wine in recycled wine bottles with a twist top, and bottles of tap water in recycled plastic bottled water containers with the label worn off are on the table. (Unless Zio Luigi is visiting from Italy....then we use the crystal Carafe)

First course, Antipasto...change plates.
Next, Maccheroni (Nonna called all pasta Maccheroni)...change plates.
After that, roasted Meats, Roasted Potatoes, Overcooked vegetables...change plates.

THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL), would you eat the salad(HOMEMADE OIL & VINEGAR (Last years wine DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.

Next, Fruit, Nuts & LUPINI (on paper napkins because you ran out of dishes by now).

Coffee (Espresso for Nonno, "Canadese" coffee for the rest)
Hard cookies with the stale almonds and freezer burn to dip in the coffee.

The kids go play...the men go to lie down. They slept so soundly you could perform brain surgery on them without anaesthesia...

The women clean the kitchen and gossip about "il figlio di Maria" or someone that's dying.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - Half the sentence in English, the other half in Italian. Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you in the head with a shoe thrown from the kitchen while you're in the living room.

TIME OUT? That was the "interval in time" that Dad dropped the broomstick and took off his leather belt to beat the crap out of you!

Prom Dress that Zia Caterina made you...$20.00 for material.
Goofy hair-do from Cousin Angela...Free.
Turning around at the prom to see your entire family (including grandparents)standing in the back of the gym...
PRICELESS!

Wedding Day - the more, the merrier (both attending and in the bridal party).

There better be lots of food or Giovanni will complain and then I'ma gonna kill boat you and your spouse.

Baptism - Who's going to be the compari? Not those sciangati gente, they're not going to be able to afford the necklace.

The true Italians will love this; those of you who are married to Italians will understand this, and those of you who are friends with Italians will forward it to them.

did the deed

I submitted my picture to Hot Dog or Not to be rated anonymously. Some may say I have that Colin Farrell look, in a scruffy way, but cool demeanor. It all lies in my upcoming ratings. I will keep you posted. My picture is pending approval. The owners of Hot Dog or Not want to ensure my picture does not scream profanities, similar to some of my recent published work.

pooch news

DeGeneres Loses Dog

HANCOCK PARK—A pet agency has refused to return a dog that was adopted by talk show host Ellen DeGeneres, but then given to the family of her hairdresser.
DeGeneres, along with partner Portia De Rossi, adopted a terrier mix puppy named Iggy on September 20. Degeneres spent thousands of dollars getting Iggy neutered, trained, and situated.

However, after the dog was trained and neutered it didn’t get along with DeGeneres’s two cats and was given to her hairdresser.
Marina Baktis, the owner of Mutts and Moms, a Pasadena based agency where she adopted the dog, contacted Degeneres for a followup on how Iggy was adjusting. Degeneres recounted, “I was honest, and told her the dog wasnt getting along with the cats and Iggy has a great home with my hairstylist.” Baktis explained the policy that the new house must fill out an application online. Degeneres had her hairstylist fill out the online form right away.
However, the information, such as the new home’s address was not used to approve the home but it was to send authorities to recover Iggy. Immediately Mutts and Mom’s owner sent out a representative to take the dog away from its new home.
On October 15, DeGeneres during the taping of her talk show broke down in tears pleading for the return of the dog. The show was aired the following day.
"(The new family) said, 'We love Iggy. Can we have Iggy?'" DeGeneres said. "Well, I guess I signed a piece of paper that says if I can't keep Iggy it goes back to the rescue organization."
She stated that it was her fault, not the family’s fault. When she had signed the papers, she didn't notice that it said if the dog was not wanted that it should be returned. “Just please give the dog back to those little girls,” she said before breaking down on the air.
Mutts and Moms announced that Iggy has been placed with yet a new family. Baktis claims she has unfairly become the villain in this doggy drama, and she stands by her decision to take away the dog.
Baktis also said that after the dog was removed, the agency received numerous letters and e-mails from people who expressed outrage over the removal of the dog. Baktis claims there have also been death threats.
During an interview with Access Hollywood, Baktis explained that she “has been doing this for years”. Her agency “goes into shelters, take these dogs, and find them homes. The idea is to appropriately match the homes with the dogs”.
A spokesperson for People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) says that the agency acted ruthlessly: “At a time when so many people in Hollywood, like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, are making impetuous 'pet' purchases, PETA commends Ellen for adopting a homeless animal from a shelter rather than buying a dog. Every animal purchased from a pet store is a virtual death sentence for an animal desperately waiting in a shelter for a home."
PETA stated, “We know that Ellen was trying to do the right thing in finding the dog a new home. She just missed a step in neglecting to contact the agency first. We hope that if the new home she arranged turns out to be as good as she thought, the agency will allow the family to take the dog back.”

hunger strike status

As you can see from my updates, I did not make it to day 2 of the hunger strike!
Happy eating everyone!

hot dog or not?

I have stumbled across the site Hot Dog or Not and it has peaked my curiousity.
Take a moment to answer my poll.
Help me decide if I should post my picture on the site.
www.hotdogornot.net/dogs/

day 1 - hunger strike

I am not eating the Royal Canin... in front of my mom. I scoop a nibble here and there, but never empty my bowl. I need to make a STATEMENT here!

on a hunger strike

I am serious about this one. I am not going to eat my dry food until I am fed my Fresh Deli. I don't give a crap if my dry food cleans my teeth, and it will help my teeth be strong. I had a taste of the good stuff and I won't budge until I have my Deli Fresh back in my bowl.

meeting Xemx

I hung out with my new friend, Xemx, this past weekend. I am years younger than her, yet I rested like an old man, holding his cane for support, while Xemx obsessed over my toys all night.

visiting the famiglia

We jumped in the car and headed west. Visiting my extended famiglia for the first time. Thought it would be smooth sailing, even though I look slightly rough around the edges, I figure I can try to appear charming and witty. If that fails, I rely on my cuteness to win them over. My thoughts brought to a halt when I met Shadow, the black-haired fury feline that resides with my extended family. I stole a drink from her water bowl(muahahaha!), and was chased away by the oh so familiar hiss I get at home from my sibling, Jasmine. Is this an endearing act, "the hiss"? Or should I get the hint that I would be better dead than alive, in the eyes of my feline family members.

So here we are, left to right: Matthew, Rebecca and moi, the Baci Bebe. Matthew is sitting there thankful that I am not sitting on or beside him, and Rebecca looks like she is pinning me down for the perfect pose. I am slowly learning, Rebecca will work for hours on the perfect pose. I love that girl! I could lick her face silly for hours. Recently she gives me her hand to lick instead of her face. Hmmm, I wonder why. Is the tongue of a dog not the cleanest tongue on the face of the earth?

play date at High Park

Keep in mind the pictures from our play date do not depict the traumatic first meeting for Anatu and I. It was a bark and screamfest.


Anatu: Running circles around us and leaping to play with me.
Me: "WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOOOOOOF!" In my manliest bark.
Mom: "AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW! I don't think this play date is going to work!"



We are at that calm state in our new friendship... T-R-U-S-T.

humpity hump

I have needs... now give me my privacy!

post hump

I wonder what Ling-Ling is thinking, as I lay beside her. Does she dream of spending the rest of her life with me or does she hope we go for round 2?